YOU SAY POTATO I SAY PORSCHE

Porsche Pronunciation

A friend recently introduced me to a PBS site feature "Do You Speak American"; in particular their "beastly mispronunciations" page. Imagine my delight when I spotted "Porsche" right between "Pecan" and "President".

Porsche PORSH.

In my experience, how you pronounce this word/name depends largely on whether you own the automobile in question. Porsche does not appear in any of my references, so I must rely solely on the evidence of my ears, which tells me that those who own a Porsche (or wish they did) tend to prefer the disyllabic POR-shuh, while those who don’t (and could not care less) tend to prefer the monosyllabic PORSH. Because the great majority of us don’t own (or aspire to own) a Porsche, I recommend the monosyllabic pronunciation as less ostentatious.

LOVE, SOFT AS A LEATHER BOXSTER SEAT

Love, Soft as a Leather Boxster Seat

You'll all be relieved to know that my car and I are back on speaking terms. I love my car. I know, I know I promised to love in good times and in bad, but my vows were seriously challenged by economic hardship, unrequested revving, check engine lights, and plastic window woes.

But today, today, all was right with the world. I put that top down, I pulled my rabbit fur collar around my neck, I turned on that seat warmer and zoooooooooom. With Brazilian Reggae music cheering me on, I pulled out. The clutch was as soft as butter, my foot on the pedal did my bidding and miraculously (in LA), the freeway opened up for me.

Now, this must have been why I bought it in the first place. Truth be told, I didn't know why I bought it. At first it just seemed to be a pain in the ass. I figured maybe men called this pain-in-the-ass fun, but that I needed to be in a floaty, no feel of the road, automatic with an ipod plugged into the dashboard. But no! I judged too quickly.

I was only on a short trip, but now I know what it's like to feel the road calling.

She's calling.



Technorati Tags: Boxster, Joy of Driving, Porsche

BABY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES!

I had some trouble driving today. The clutch didn't feel right. I felt the death grip of another $3,000 repair looming. I struggled with the clutch on my way into work, But then, on the way home I got the feel again. Crisis over. But why? What had changed? Only one thing: my shoes!

I'd been driving in sandals for weeks, but today I switched to my sneaks. The distance from foot to pedal was off and my brain took its own sweet time adjusting.

That's when it hit me. A beautiful synergy of women to car to shoes. Buying new shoes was finally elevated to the ranks of necessity. Every woman's dream: a legitimate reason to buy a new pair of shoes!


I didn't have to look far either. What do you know, Adidas just came out with the Porsche driving shoe.

I just don't know...it sure looks like a sneaker to me!

PAM PLANS TO PIMP HER PORSCHE!

pam plans to pimp her porsche!

My dash:

1. crappy cup holders (which FYI can launch a hot starbucks latte right into my lap in a single bound)
2. Single CD Player/Radio
3. CD holders - a huge waste of available space (who thought of these? the same person who asked the glove box? argggghhh, where is a girl to keep her driving gloves??? (and don't say in the weird spot behind my head, anything in there will melt from engine heat, and not the door storage, even weirder, who will ever remember somethings in there without a flashlight?)
   
4. Some small storage (which is where I actually cram my cd's)

Ah the choices,

1. Convert the center compartment (oh maybe that's where my gloves should be) into either a) a groovy cup holder via Styrofoam project or b) a glorious arm rest!!!
2. Add a cd-changer, and custom iPod adapter in the front trunk
3. Add an in-dash GPS where the cups holders are

I was pleasantly surprised to see CNET's Insider Secrets editor, Brian Cooley (in a segment called "Geek Your Car" ) demonstrating an Ipod installation in a Boxster! He doesn't mention the car brand, but take a look, it's obvious.

But wait! there's more! I love this guy Brian. He follows the iPod upgrade tutorial with a LOW TECH solution. I felt the joy of outsmarting technology. You choose: $400 for the alpine and the install, or $40 bucks for a couple of cables.

BOXSTER LANDING PAD

Welcome to Boxster Heaven! If you’ve just landed here, the blog follows my love/hate adventureswith my Boxster. Stats: 2002 (bought used in 2006), manual, Boxster(not "S"), plastic window; I'm a majority inner-city driver and am woefully un-garaged!

Find links to some of my favorites (by topic) below.

Take a look at the topics below and then sign-up to receive updates when new articles are published. If you have a feed reader, you can get into Heaven with RSS. Subscribe in a reader:


If you aren't a subscriber yet and want to catch up, here are a few highlights by topic to get started:
Bumps, Cracks, Parts and Price

• Boxster Bump Shatters Local Girl
• Rainy Days and HubCaps Always Get Me Down

Warranty Woes

• They Can't Get No Satisfaction
• Don't Wanna Be an American Idiot
• Rear Window: Hitchcock Meets Boxster
• Die Yuppie Die
  

Wheels & Wax

• Underneath the Old Oak Tree

Humor

• Up the Porsche Evolutionary Ladder
• My Friends All Have Porsches I must Make Amends
  

Porshi-ku (Porsche Haiku)

• 8-6-7-5-3-0-9: FREEDOM IN FORM? PORSCHIKU CONTEST ...
• PORSCHE HAIKE (AND TYLER TOO)
• PORSCHE HAIKU (PORSCHIKU?)
• BOXSTER HAIKU

GO AWAY YOU NPR LISTENING PORSCHE DRIVING YUPPIES!

by pam ashlund

"... note to artsy rich kids: don't stay here and laugh at the kitschyness of East LA and then go back to Silver Lake. I've seen how quickly you spread in an area, drive the rents sky high, infest the place with tacky pop culture and disconnected cynicism, and then boot the locals out. Don't make us start a chapter of the Mission Yuppie Eradication Project down here! You've been warned." (emphasis mine)

This isn't the first time, and it won't be the last, that I write about Porsches and Politics. I still find it hilarious that there is anything to say there at all. I felt I had truly crossed one of the surreal lines in life when I found myself supporting a protest in front of a local dealership (about a warranty squabble). What had I come to? There are so many more important things to do. Then again, what's life without a little laughter?

I recently moved into a renovated loft in a neighborhood that has been "down and out" for close to fifty years. I did think about the Porsche, but only in terms of theft. I did not think about what it would symbolize to my neighbors.

Who would have thought owning a Porsche would set off a firestorm of controversy over neighborhood gentrification? Alright, technically that's not what started it, it may have my whining about wanting to find a decent grocery store, but it didn't help.

Oh well. It all started with a blog post on the merits of one LA area (Silver Lake) and my new neighborhood (Lincoln Heights). Understandably, my comments touched a nerve in the community. I would leave it at that, but in pursuit of a deeper understanding I studied one of my critics website. There I found thought provoking comments on gentrification (something I give a lot of thought to these days), but then....I saw it--a link to a website called Mission Yuppie Eradication Project.

The Yuppie Eradication site was hilarious and representative of the wit that makes Northern California so unique. But as I read on I got a creepy feeling that this wasn't tongue in cheek. It was a website that advocated violent resistance (what they refer to as "controversial methods") as follows:

Tips on Making Yuppies Pay

• Vandalize their cars: Mercedes, Lexus, Porsche, Jaguar, and anything that your family wouldn't be able to afford. (emphasis mine)
• Throw shit at Yuppies as they drive by, especially if they are on their cell phones.
• Don't patronize Yuppie establishments.
• If you are sitting with friends near Yuppies, spread rumors about increasing crime in the neighborhood.
• Organize your community against developers who help gentrification.
• Organize your co-workers against your Yuppie boss.
• Work with your neighbors to find out who owns what in your neighborhood
• When Yuppies invade it means higher rents, so organize a neighborhood Tenant's Association to keep a lid on rents.
• "Don't listen to Yuppie radio stations, which includes your local NPR affiliates.

"That does it", I thought, bashing Porsche's AND NPR??? To quote a favorite movie "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!"

Oy. Signing out.

Technorati Tags: Lincoln Heights, Gentrification, Loft, Los Angeles, Silver Lake, LA, YUPPIE

NOT CRUSIN' IN MY BOXSTER (SOB)

Not Crusin' in my Boxster (sob)
by pam ashlund

Had to leave the baby in the body shop. Thank god for insurance, so the work was covered and...so was the rental car. The insurance agent called me up and said "I don't know if we're going to be able to get you a Porsche." It had never occured to me that they might actually try to give me an "equal or better" car rental. "Oh don't worry, any car will be fine" I heard myself saying.

And so it was.

I took my drive from Los Angeles to Harbin Hot Springs in a PT Cruiser. The last time I came up was in the Boxster. Thus the drive was, shall we say, much lamer! Instead of pleasure the curves gave me a headache. The less than lusterous drive aside, I arrived to Harbin on Monday afternoon, with an hour to spare before my Watsu appointment.

I checked in at the front desk, with a nice woman called Aqueous. She read me my room info, and then looked up and asked "Do you still have your Porsche?" Her question stunned me for a second. It rang out like an accusation. But before I could get out a "what the heck is it to you AquaVelva?", I saw that she was just reading from the computer screen and trying to save time on typing in the license plate. I guess, in the context of this beautiful serene hippy retreat, it could have been my guilty conscience." "No, I'm driving an ordinary American rental you moron" I thought, but smiled and said "No, not this time."

Om.

Technorati Tags: Porsche, Boxster, Harbin Hot Springs, PT Cruiser

REAR WINDOW: HITCHCOCK MEETS BOXSTER

Rear Window: Hitchcock Meets Boxster
by pam ashlund

Back in April, 2006 I ran into a great couple protesting in front of Downtown LA Motors. In solidarity, I did a write-up of their struggle in "They Can't Get No Satisfaction". I felt bad for them because sometimes when you make a $50 or $60K purchase and you pay god knows how much in regular maintenance and repairs...and all that money pours directly into the pocket of your dealer...and you NEVER protest...you just keep opening your wallet. Finally, you come in five years later and ask for a measly four-hundred dollar repair..and...they refuse. Come on people, that was just a bad business decision. Had Downtown LA Motors just fixed the dumb piece of plastic, they might still have a customer, who might want trade up that Porsche in the near future. How else could someone make a 10,000 percent return on investment? But nooooooooooo, they had to make reference to a nonexistent policy. It's not covered in your warranty? What kind of sports car owner wants to hear that? Please. Tell me another one.

Why am I on a rant about something that happened last April? A picture says a thousand words:

Three guesses whose rear window that is? I guess it will be a cold day in LA when somebody reimburses me for this one....

Technorati Tags: Boxster, 2002 Boxster, Rainy Day Magazine, Convertible Top, Porsche, Plastic Window, Downtown LA Motors

WHAT DO HARRY POTTER AND PORSCHE HAVE IN COMMON?

What do Harry Potter and Porsche have in common?
by pam ashlund (provided by anonymous source)

An anonymous relative made an astute observation with this comparison:



Technorati Tags: Harry Potter, Insignia, Porsche, Wheel Center

RAINY DAYS AND HUBCAPS ALWAYS GET ME DOWN

Rainy Days and Hubcaps Always Get Me Down
by Pam Ashlund

Came out the other day to wax the baby (by hand of course). When I got to the wheel I noticed something missing. The cap with the Porsche Insignia was gone on the front right. On closer inspection I saw a suspicious mark on the hub. Looks like someone (foolishly) tried to pry off the hubcap.

Question of the day: Did somebody try to steal my car or did I just hit the curb?

Here's a snap of the gaping hole in the middle of the hub. ;-(













Here's the suspicious chip:















And here's the "before", the way my front right wheel used to look!

Maybe it's time to try one of Rainy Day magazines projects. They have the perfect project for me: Making Porsche Boxster Wheel Center Crests...in Color! I am SO on it!

Technorati Tags: Boxster, Car, Hub Cap, Insignia, Porsche, Rainy Day Magazine, Wheel Center, Hub

OUCH: BOXSTER BUMP SHATTERS LOCAL GIRL

My baby has an owie. A nice woman in the (you guessed it) Gelson's parking lot, backed into me. Said woman was almost crying, with the distinct look of horror of "oh my god I hit a Porsche!". I ended up giving her a little hug. It's Christmas afterall. We traded insurance info of course, I'm not crazy!


Estimated cost of repair $489, or replacement $800ish. Thank god for Farmer's Insurance.

I'VE GOT THE BOXSTER BLUES...CAR HEALTH INSURANCE?

I've got the Boxster Blues...Car Health Insurance?

Why does a young person buy health insurance when they won't have the need for the inside of a doctors office until they're over 30? Probably because of that one in a million possibility that they might land in the hospital. No, this is not an advertisement for "hospitalization coverage"; it's a car saga.

If there was car health insurance, I'd buy it. At least my repair costs would be fixed. Yes, I bought my Boxster used, yes I bought an extended warranty, yes, I have car insurance (a lot of it).

But none of this offered me any protection for the costs of on-going repairs.

I'm only pondering this because my last car repair bill was three grand (they said I burned out my clutch and kept driving it until I melted all the surrounding components!). Sadly that is about right.

Then an ignition switch and a starter...

My latest is above five hundred--a faulty air mass sensor. Wanna bet that's a $50 part wholesale?

Some car manufacturers have suffered sales loss due to a bad rep for the sky high cost of repairs. They responded by offering an ALL costs of repairs built in to the car purchase price. I would vote for that. At least I wouldn't be trembling every time I turned the key.


Technorati Tags: car repair, car maintenance, air mass senor, clutch, boxster, porsche

ENTIA NON SUNT MULTIPLICANDA PRAETER NECESSITATEM: UP THE PORSCHE EVOLUTIONARY LADDER

Entia Non Sunt Multiplicanda Praeter Necessitatem*
Climbing Up the Porsche Evolutionary Ladder

Oh sure, I can say I bought this car because it's well engineered, or because I love the feel of the road, or because, for that matter, it has better mileage than my Mitsubishi Outlander did! Unfortunately, if we apply Occam's Razor (and we must), from the Latin above-translated: the simplest explanation is usually the right one), I bought this car to jump to the top of the prestige ladder!

Woe is me, how little did I know when I made that leap! It turns out that by all measures I am at the BOTTOM of the Porsche prestige ladder. Above the lowly Boxster are (in ascending order), the Boxster S, the Cayman, the 911 and (drum-roll please), the Carrera GT (coming in at approximately $440,000).

The Boxster, as it turns out, is alternately known as Porsche's entry level car, the car for the comman man, and even more aptly put: "the poor man's porsche".

I trade my tales from the road with a fellow Porsche owner on a weekly basis. This week I related an event that happened on the way home from work. As I sailed through traffic with scarcely an effort, I was suddenly overtaken by another car (technically all I saw was a blur) and before I could even react, the car cut me off and whipped around a corner. Not necessarily an uncommon event in LA, but this was on a virtualy empty street. I knew instantly, as I watched the blur take shape in front of me, this was a deliberate act. My adversary? A Carrera.

"Of course it was a Carrera", my friend laughed, "they eat Boxsters for sport". "It was yellow" I added, rolling my eyes. "Yellow?" my friend asked, "that's even worse!". Apparently there is an entire personality profile associated with those who own these cars, by model... and COLOR.

I had to swallow my pride for a moment as I came to terms with my place in the Porsche species. These bigger, faster, stronger fish might snap at me just for the fun of it, if for no other reason as to make sure I always knew I'd make a tasty lunch.

Poor Darwin might roll over in his grave, if forced to hear this application of his theory of natural selection.


*Translation: Entities should not be multiplied beyond necessity (see Occams Razor)


Technorati Tags: Boxster, Carerra, Porsche, Cayman

GUZZLE THIS BOXSTER!

Guzzle This Boxster!

Okay, I admit it, I now officially have a favorite blogger. His name is Ken Goldstein (and if you say "Kenny G." you're not my friend anymore)! Except in the blogosphere, Ken and I don't know each other, but we both blog the nonprofit world, we both were born in the summer of '61, we both ran to northern california the first chance we could... But, I'm sad to say that's where the similarity ends...we don't drive the same car. LOL

Okay, ready for the segue?

My last post got me a bit of flak from my hybrid-driving-Brother-in-Law. So this blog's for him.

I sometimes read another Blog, called The 13th Story-and other Random Thoughts. I would enjoy his comments on my posts occasionally...and now, it turns out that the Ken, of Nonprofit Consultant Blog, and Ken of Random Thoughts are one and the same person. Turns out Ken is also a guitar player and here's a little tune I found on his site:

The Prius Song (jingle parody) (K.R. Goldstein)

I think Ken has missed his calling and could give Barry Manilow a run for his money in the jingle writing game!

Parting thought: think Ken R. G - contains a hidden social message: Ke NRG (energy get it?)



Technorati Tags: Boxster, Gas Price, Nonprofit, Porsche, Prius

CRUMMY PORSCHE?

Crummy Porsche? My Boxster Adventure Continues

My car and I aren't speaking. Ever since i figured out that my repair costs are just over $4oo a month it just hasn't been the same. I didn't realize my feelings had changed until I heard myself using the adjective "crummy porsche" to my Dad today. Even though we were on the phone I could hear him rolling his eyes. "You've changed Pam", he sighed.

Less than 15 years ago I was living in a yellow school bus (sitting on blocks). I was driving a '69 Ford Maverick. I always backed into my parking spaces because it was 50/50 that the car wouldn't be starting of its own volition. I know my family thought I could do better, but they also enjoyed the vicarious experience of having a crazy daughter in california. Don't get me wrong, I liked being a color-character too.

So what's my conclusion? My Maverick only started when it wanted to, and also ran me major bucks at the mechanics, and my boxster only starts when it wants to and rules my bank account.

I guess things haven't really changed so much.

Technorati Tags: Boxster, Porsche, Ford Maverick

8-6-7-5-3-0-9: FREEDOM IN FORM? PORSCHIKU CONTEST CONTINUES

8-6-7-6-3-0-9: Freedom in Form - The Porschiku Contest Continues

This from Jon in CA: Hmm, didn't someone explain that a Haiku is 5/7/5?

cold start seat warmer 5 syllables
black ice smooth road 4 syllables
arctic silver control 6 syllables

As a Haiku website informs us:

"Although many times a 5-7-5 pattern is prescribed as a ‘firm’ rule in rudimentary definitions of haiku this is not supported by research, translation, or history, even in Japanese haiku."

Technorati Tags: Boxster, Porsche, Haiku

PORSCHE HAIKE (AND TYLER TOO)

Porsche Haiku (and Tyler Too)

So Chris from NH points out that I didn't originate the concept of Boxster Haiku. Here are few from threads on Pete's Boxster Board, one back in 99, another in '01, and yet another in '03.

Strange cloud
Floating over the road
Boxster dream
Grant from Bonny Doon, CA

Beauty Performance
I love my porsche boxster
There's no substitute
Rob C from Orlando, AS

Too much time on hands
Waste time on PPBB
Should go drive instead
Keith L in AZ

Strange white exhaust
Floating over driveway
Just started flat-6
Ken in Shreveport, LA

Top down turn on rails
Reving engine Porsche style
Boxster permagrin
RKD in OKC

Happy Dentist knows
Despite bad weather and cops
He still owns a Porsche
12/12/01 – Stan from Dallas Texas


Technorati Tags: Boxster, Porsche, Haiku

PORSCHE HAIKU (PORSCHIKU?)

OK, the Porsche Haiku contest is officially launched. Here are the first two entries (by Chris in NH):

muscles taut
reveal pearly whites
permagrin

how quick the needle
falls at high revolutions
need more go-go juice


Now I just have to think of a prize....



Technorati Tags: Boxster, Porsche, Haiku

BOXSTER HAIKU

Boxster Haiku


ignition turning
zoom from zero to sixty
brake dust settling

cold start seat warmer
black ice smooth road
arctic silver control

cracked plastic soft top
thunderstorm rain drops falling
5th gear drive faster

new clay wax gleaming
ripe mulberries plop on hood
predictable entropy


Technorati Tags: Boxster, Porsche, Haiku

A PICTURE OF HAPPINESS: A GIRL AND HER BOXSTER

A Picture of Happiness: A girl and her Boxster
Fifty miles for breakfast? No problem!

I bought THE in June. She is an "arctic silver" porsche boxster with a black top, and we are in love. Born in 2002, able to leap from a stand-still to 68 mph in under 5 seconds, she has traveled 46,000 miles just to be...with me.